Look at you back to old habits!

Funny how you claim to have changed but you’re doing the same shit that made me fall out of love. You are disrespectful and yet you talk bout respect.

Ha that’s funny. I’m any case I have made up my mind!!!!

You see my moods should tell you how I’m feeling. My ignoring your “back together or sexual comments “ why do you think that is?……. I am over the hurt I’m not giving you what you want knowing it’s not what I want!!!!!

I am starting over. Starting something new. Starting to see d habits in my ex husband again. Habits that make me think that he is lying to me more than I know he has been. Starting to see that things have not changed for him. He says “I have changed I am not going back to the old me!” Oh my dear bless your heart but I see differently. You get asked to not sleep over cuz it’s uncomfortable then you’re upset saying “ this is crap I am the dad I should be here.” For real we have not had you in our lives, in our homes and in our thoughts for 7 months and now you want to be here.

I don’t go on my phone, don’t go on Facebook or talk to my friends. Since you are back in habit of getting pissed off at who I talk to. You have not changed. Your pushy, your mean, your not listening, and your not respecting rules and boundaries. So why should I let you back in?

However I am starting over!!!! I am bettering my health, my mental health, my family life, and clearing out all NEGATIVE thoughts, vibes and words. Yes the world is fucked up right now, but it dose not mean my life and the kids lives should be!

So start over, move on, and leave me alone. I am not wanting what you want so STOP asking

Signed

Jessica Ballard/Harris

Am I doing what’s best for my kids?…. Am I really doing what is best.

Should I have left their dad? Should I have stay with their dad? Should I have got my own place for us without the abuse of their father? Should I have not gotten us a car that gets us where we need to go without waiting for people? Should I not have made friends with a guy that is “my child” says a friend of mine.

I know I’m a fuck ip the whole damn world knows it so now what the hell do I do????? I’m single not wanting to be with anyone who treats me like shit and yet here I am set into depression cuz my friend and my ex mother in law are talking about me and making me feel like shit.

I honestly don’t know what to fucking do anymore.

I’m back to having NOTHING and NO INE!!!!

Here we go again